The Urbanista Writer’s Ledger (TUWL) is back to see out the end of 2019 with another fantastic collection of original writing. To kick start the new series we have a couple of poems from the enfants terribles of Liverpool’s literary scene, Casserole of Nonsense – the brainchild of Jack Turner and Lewy Dohren.
Today we publish Tooth, The Whole Tooth & Nothing But The Tooth and The Room. These two poems are all about (in their words) ‘combining the drone and struggle of normal life with the hilarity of new age confusion. With every sentence regularly providing more questions than it answers. No theme. No pattern. Just utter nonsense. Complete and utter shite’. Their debut short story & poetry collection is out now so, enjoy these tasters and get yourself one of the last copies.
Tooth, The Whole Tooth & Nothing But The Tooth
Rise up from your monotonous slumber
In times gone by a wobbly tooth would have been greeted with such open arms
A quid for your troubles from an airy fairy
Few new packs of footy stickers, 96-97 season
But now these dental dreams have turned into analytical nightmares
Online experts and laborious shamanic views
‘Apparently I need to be more assertive and question myself less?’
Thank fuck that was just a dream, I could have sworn a few fell out there
Isn’t it weird how an overdue dentist letter comes through on exactly the same day though?
Ah fuck it
I probably won’t dream tonight
*I hopefully won’t dream tonight
Just keep brushing, that’s the British way innit?
Keep calm and carry on not giving a fuck about anything
Need to stop Googling this shit though
‘Apparently the feeling of pent up anger is synonymous with teeth dreams and I just need… to find… a way… of holding… THE RAGE… IN’
Back down to earth I tumble
Crash landing on a cold-sided pillow
That one wasn’t too bad to be fair, although my tooth does actually seem quite wobbly today
‘Must book in with the dentist’, he said
‘He said’? No, I said
Don’t even know who the fuck’s controlling the meanders in this subconscious mind stream anymore
Nothing left but teeth-shaped life jackets to keep us afloat in the dream soup
Fuck me it’s getting thicker
Good job I mastered the backstroke
Just clocked a ten foot badger with budgie arms and cheetah legs run past
‘Apparently toothmares are bi-products of anxiety, with heavy sufferers often distracted and unable to finish their…’
Scooped out the drink with an Ikea ladle and dumped onto a job interview landing net
Is this real or fake news?
Staring down the barrel of an open ended question
A deafening silence that lasts an elongated eon
Then I saw it out the corner of my eye
A molar-shaped asteroid just burst through the ozone
Our fiery saviour imminently poised to cease the latest instalment of canine catastrophe
A cataclysm…of wisdom.Jack Turner, January 2019
One Room. One Gram.
And the adventure began
Clean the dust off the table and that bit of dried jam
One Gram. One Stripe.
Fuck! That stuff ’s alright
Let’s swerve the gig and stay here all night
One Stripe. One Morning.
Still here and talking
At each other, not with? Nah it’s not boring
One Morning. One Gram.
Slightly out of the plan
Just chill here for a bit, swerve that meal with the fam
One Gram. One Day.
Eh? What yer say?
There’s nothin left already!? Bell another one ay?
One Day. One Gaff.
Arr come on have a laugh
Jib work off ennit, ain’t worth the faff
One Gaff. One Room.
It ended too soon
Okay, 5 more minutes, gerron this tune. Lewy Dohren, January 2019
You can purchase Casserole of Nonsense HERE. Get your copy of this brilliant collection of short stories and poetry whilst you still can.